The Strong-Willed Child: The Terrible Twos on Steroids

After ADHD, the second most common childhood mental health problem that I have seen throughout my career is the strong-willed child, or what mental health professionals refer to as "oppositional defiant disorder." This is a disorder that causes a child to be overly reactive to any form of authority or criticism. These children can be extremely frustrating for parents and teachers, but they tend to act out more at home than at school because they don't want to look foolish in front of their peers. This disorder can start at a very young age (2 years old in fact) but it does tend to tone down somewhat as the child gets into their teenage years. These children are so frustrating because they will argue with you about anything. And I mean anything. I have heard a child with ODD argue with his parents when they said the sky looked so blue today. His response was "The sky isn't blue today." These children get angry easily, they will actively defy what their parents tell them to do, they don't take responsibility and blame others for their negative behavior, and they can often be very vindictive. ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder often go hand in hand, which is a double whammy for parents and families.

Treatment options for ODD include several possible medications and I teach three parents 3 strategies that help to significantly reduce the negative behaviors at home. I have had many ODD children in my office and I actually enjoy interacting with them because I use the 3 strategies with them whenever we interact, and they don't know how to respond or what to do. These strategies can be learned over 2-3 therapy sessions, with a follow up appointment or two to improve your technique.